It's not all about ME!

NOT starting at the very beginning is refreshing because it allows me to talk about ANYTHING! Recently I have felt this nagging feeling that something is missing from my life.   Apart from the fact that I don't have much of one anymore....it was something else.  I used to be really close to God and I have let that relationship stray.  I used to wake up with the joy of wondering "what will God bring for me today?" It was exciting and new each morning and I waited to see who or what he would bring into my life and how could I be a good steward of God's gifts that day. Sitting in my house all alone doesn't bring much opportunity and my depression and pain overwhelmed my desire for God. But I feel Him nagging at me...calling out to me...and I in turn am reaching out to HIM. I'm delving into His word again, and finding solace in it.  I'm worshipping with music and feeling joy in that. I haven't felt joy in a long time.)

This is a very exciting time for me and I wanted to share that with you.

Lets NOT start at the very beginning right now.  Its too depressing and that's not where I want to be right now! Just had a huge fight with my sister (not the first one by any means....she knows how to push my buttons). Depressing! Spent a month with my eldest son Paul and wife Jacquie with 2 of my grandchildren. Spending my first night alone again and missing them already.  But I don't mind being alone, and I'm testing out my new laptop by blogging for the first time in a long time and it feels really good.

Right now I'm fascinated with the #VanLife and wondering if its an option for me for the next few years.  I have to sell my house (its too big for just me and my pups, Ollie and Zim) and I don't have lots of money but my Father passed away in November so I'm an orphan, but he left me some money and I have some decisions to make.  I'm 59, so not a typical Van Lifer, but I'm very intrigued by the concept.  I was previously obsessed with owning a Tiny House, but I cant see myself towing one, or finding a place to park it.  Whereas a van is more feasible but has additional challenges like sleeping in Walmart parking lots, and surviving winters.  If your van breaks down your home is inaccessible while its being fixed.  But its cheaper than renting an apartment in Burlington or any city in Ontario basically.  My family think its a crazy idea for me but I'm not convinced yet so I'm watching all the non Instagram (glossy fantasies with no "real life challenges) videos.  I'm also sick with fibromyalgia and depression so I have additional challenges myself...limitations physically and emotionally.

Anyway its time for dramatic changes...not sure which way I'm going to go.  Let me know if you have any ideas or input.  Happy to be back. Hey, have a great day.