Fibro Fun and other craziness

I've been Down and out for the past 5 days....severe IBS and Nausea....this is another wonderful aspect of my illness. My head has quieted...my thoughts have settled, and the noise has settled. The "racing thoughts" stuff is difficult to describe, but it's akin to your brain being a TV that is turned up really loud, and someone is rapidly channel surfing... go go go...even stranger is that u notice it more when it's stopped, than when it starts....it kind of sneaks up on you...like a ride slowly speeding up....I guess like a frog that will sit in the water and boil to death without jumping out...it just escalates and is kind of okay for while. It's not fibro though...it's an extra! I've never really kept track of the time stretch, but I'm going to try. You'll see by my "posts" when it's up and when it's down. I was quite a bit "up" when I started this blog...and came down to land around the 26th I think.

2 Icons in one day...Farah Fawcett and Michael Jackson

I was going to continue my blathering about angina (no irony here) to discuss the inconveniences of "sudden death"...however in consideration of the day, and the fact that this date will mark the passing of actress Farrah Fawcett, and singer "king of Pop" Michael Jackson.

It's difficult to discuss them both together...not to diminish the talent of Michael Jackson...but the scandal that surrounded him, puts him in a separate place from Farrah in my heart and mind.

I think if we women were honest we would probably recall being ambivalent about Farrah. On the one hand she had a beauty to aspire to, but also a knowledge that we could never compete with that poster on our boyfriend's wall!!! She also took us along through the aging process, in a graceful way. I haven't seen her documentary, but from all accounts she displayed true courage throughout her illness and to the end.

Michael I feel, was a gifted, but tortured soul, whose demons, from wherever they came, perverted the beauty of his talent. His fame, though well deserved as to voice and dance, transformed his success into a seduction of innocent lives. He squandered his resources and was proud of it. I hope that he made restitution spiritually before his death. Like I said ...you may not know when...so always be prepared. Very sad for everyone involved.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtyJbIOZjS8

The Inconvenience of Angina

As anyone who has ever had heart problems can probably attest...there is nothing more inconvenient than having an angina attack.

First and foremost...what IS angina...well there's the rub...you probably right away thought "chest pain"...well you might be surprised that the pinching in your shoulder; jaw; throat; could be angina too..or... it could be just a "pinching" in your shoulder; jaw; and throat!



The first time I had severe angina (after suffering with the pinching, shortness of breath; extreme lethargy...figuring it was all due to inactivity) I lay in bed and had a discussion with myself, and with God. I asked myself whether or not I was REALLY in pain! I'm in pain all the time, and when you deal with chronic pain, it changes all the definitions! The pain then increased and moved to my left arm...but...I asked myself...is my left arm REALLY hurting more than my right? Yes...yes it is. Am I having a panic attack? Been there...done that...no this is different...Hmmmmm.

What to do! It's 11:30 p.m. and my son is sleeping soundly. I don't really want to disturb anyone...so I tell God that if He wants me, I'm ready to go...but 9:00 a.m - 3:00 p.m. Monday thru Friday would really be much better...and after all He's God! I didn't call anyone...didn't mention it to my doctor for about a month, and finally discovered that yes I did have blocked arteries...and got stents and nitroglycerin.



That was 2 years ago, and I'm back at the angina thing again, and have found via angiogram, that I have several at least 50% blocked arteries...but not blocked enough to fix...yet! Lovely!!!! So the whole angina thing has changed now...because I know now....whereas before I was blissful in my ignorance! Now when it starts, I know that I have 15 minutes and 3 nitro puffs before I'm in real trouble, and because I live alone, as a single Mom, there are things to do!!!



Whatever needs to happen...I'm the only one that can make it happen...I can't just lay still and have someone else do all the calling of ambulances...getting Matt woken up and looked after....someone will have to open the door and hold the dogs when the paramedics get here...all the stuff that has to be done is too much...particularly if it turns out that you don't have a massive coronary after all!!!!!

Seriously...once you make that call for help you are pretty much obliged to to have a fatal. or near fatal, heart attack!!!!! Ask any heart patient!.....thats why we die!

Social Networking and other perils

As you may have noticed...I'm not really all that savvy at the social networking stuff. I find that Facebook has terrified me with it's ballooning abundance of questionnaires; games; quizzes; albums; videos....I could go on and on!...and on. It's simply amazing to me how someone could ever have that many friends! I admit that my existence since becoming ill has rather paralyzed my "friendship" abilities...but that's exactly my point....friendships require care; time; effort; investment of heart and energy (which I am sadly lacking..hence my limitations) and therefore would seem to limit the ability of someone to effectively manage the number of friends they seem to have acquired! It is exactly my limitation with respect to pain/energy/inability to plan...that has made this media a real breakthrough for me. I mean...I'm here by myself (well not really...I have 3 dogs, a cat, 5 birds, and a son to look after!!!!!!) and presently have a spontaneous moment of lucidity...and that is never to be overrated...so now I can release some of the thoughts that are continually running around in my head. This, I feel, will allow me to free up space in my brain for other thoughts, and leave it in a continuously emptied state ( sort of like the recycle bin emptying that I forget to do) so that on the rare occasion that I DO go out, and I DO speak to someone...maybe I'll be less likely to ramble on without pause for breath until I excuse myself for frightening them (usually some poor unsuspecting clerk) and explain that I'm out on unsupervised leave and will be returning to hospital soon! They look relieved!

Anyway....my point is....(u didn't think I had one did u!)....that for me...and other poor sods like me who are stuck at home...this is a great way to reach out to the world...but if you are blessed with good health....then please....get off the computer ...and go visit someone you love ...before you can't!

God Bless

Pray for our soldiers in Iraq - Thanks Bernice

GOD BLESS & PROTECT THEM!!!

7-Day Forecast for Baghdad,Iraq

115ºF89ºF 117ºF89ºF 120ºF90ºF 122ºF91ºF

122ºF92ºF 121ºF95ºF 120ºF95ºF

Prayer request According to the weather reports, it is our understanding that it is 122 degrees in Iraq right now -- and the low will be 111! Our troops need our prayers for strength, endurance, and safety.. If it be God's will, give these men and women the strength they need to prevail.

Let us pray.Prayer chain for our Military..please don't break it...

Please send this on.

Prayer
'Lord, please hold our troops in your loving hands. Protect them as they protect us. Bless them and their families for the selfless acts they perform for us in our time of need. Amen.' Prayer Request: When you receive this, please stop for a moment and say a prayer for our troops around the world.
Just send this to all the people in your address book. Do not let it stop with you, please.

Of all the gifts you could give a Soldier, Sailor, Airman, Marine & others deployed in harm's way,
Prayer is the very best one!

Iranian Officials hold Bodies of Dead for money

Just now CNN reveals that they have sources that are telling them that the families of Iranian protestors who have been shot dead by the Basij (or whoever), are being told thay have to

"pay a $3000.00 bullet fee"

in order to retrieve and bury their loved ones.

I just don't know anymore...what is going on in our world.

Apparently this is a repeat of multiple other obscene actions taken during the Iranian revolution 30 years ago.
Protestors who are detained will face a special court, and be made examples of!!
What does that mean?!!Keep Praying...God is Great!

Letter 2 Foreign Affairs Minister

Honourable Lawrence Cannon
CannoL@parl.gc.ca
Foreign Minister
House of Commons
Ottawa Ontario
K1A0A6

Dear Sir,
I have recently contacted the Prime Minister's office, and have been referred to you to hear my plea. I'm certain this is a plea that you are hearing from across our free country. As our Foreign Minister, you are representative of our great democratic nation of Canada.

I ask you to send a clear message to the governments of Iran, that Canadians will not tolerate nor recognize the present tyrannical regime of Iran, as they murder their citizens in the streets.
That Canada will not tolerate the violations of Human Rights that are occurring in Iran, and that there will be consequences to their actions.
We ask for swift action on this matter.

Respectfully,
Sally Gardner
Free Canadian Citizen

Response from PM Harper's Office

Dear Ms. Gardner:
On behalf of the Right Honourable Stephen Harper, I would like to thank you for your e-mail, in which you raised an issue which falls within the portfolio of the Honourable Lawrence Cannon, Minister of Foreign Affairs.
The Prime Minister always appreciates receiving mail on subjects of importance to Canadians. Please be assured that the statements you made have been carefully reviewed. I have taken the liberty of forwarding your e-mail to Minister Cannon so that he too may be made aware of your comments.
I am certain that the Minister will give your views every consideration. For more information on the Government's initiatives, you may wish to visit the Prime Minister's Web site, at www.pm.gc.ca.

Neda in happier times

Neda was in Tehran with her music teacher for a peacful demonstration...
He said...
"We were stuck in traffic and we got out and stood to watch, and without her throwing a rock or anything they shot her," he said. "It was just one bullet."

Such a tragedy...the name "Neda" means "voice" which is so ironic, as she has become the most profound and graphic image of this conflict.
I'm sure she and her family would have preferred not to have this infamy.

Silly Sally Stories

Trying to be on a lighter note for a quick change, I have decided that occasionally, when the whim overcomes me, I will share a silly story about me! I have discussed this with Matthew, and he heartily approves, as long as the silliness is strictly on my side, and not on his! This could prove to be difficult, but I will do my best!

I am, apparently, according to Matthew, one of those people who apologize for absolutely everything, irregardless of my role or effect on any particular situation. For instance, I regularly apologize for coming into a store when someone else is going out, irrespective of, and mostly in the absence of, collision. I simply can't help myself! It just slips out, and there it is...an apology.

I also apologize when rolling my shopping cart past another customer in an otherwise open aisle. This usually causes a look of confusion on the part of the other customer...and again I realize that I have apologized yet again ... for no apparent reason!

Well...today I happened to go outside onto my deck to retrieve the dog shampoo I had left on the railing, and upon re entering the house I went to close the screen door, and as I turned back I saw a bumblebee had slipped in, and was now turning back towards the closing screen to escape...and so...I said.........I'M SORRY................to the bee........and opened the door again so that it could leave...which it did.....but luckily....it didn't say anything to me in return.

Then I'd be really worried!

Email PM Harper

It's free and easy, and could make a difference....please do it

Harper.S@parl.gc.ca

Letter 2 Parliament for IRAN just cut/paste and mail

Monday, June 22, 2009

Prime Minister Harper
House of Commons
Ottawa Ontario
K1A0A6

Dear Prime Minister,

As our global representative of our great free and democratic nation of Canada, I ask you to send a clear message to the governments of Iran, that Canadians will not tolerate nor recognize the present tyrannical regime of Iran, as they murder their citizens in the streets.

We call for an immediate stop to the violence, and will hold them accountable for crimes of war, should they continue their assault.

We ask for swift action on this matter.

Respectfully,




Free Canadian Citizen

Father's Day...Bittersweet

Happy Father's Day to all those Father's out there who are involved in their children's lives, and being great role models. As Dr. Phil always says, the same sex parent is the most significant role model for any child. This fact is not meant to hurt or diminish those of us who are raising boys on our own, but it is a fact that we must consider as we continue to challenge ourselves to be both parents, which we cannot do. So what's the alternative...try to engage good male mentors for our boys...this is hard...families are busy and we must also be wise in choosing those mentors so as not to place our sons in vulnerable situations. It is a very hard juggling act. I have been blessed with a great Church where my pastors have taken the time to invest in my son's life, as had my own father, who goes to great lengths to do things with him, and help to support me in providing opportunities for camps etc. that we would not otherwise be able to afford.
Father's Day is still tough though. The week prior is tough because school of course is involved in making things for "DAD" inviting "Dad" to school activities. Our Principal, Mr. Winters, took time out of his busy day to help Matt with his project one year, which Matt then gave to our pastor, who gracefully accepted the gift without skipping a beat. May God Bless these men! TRULY BLESS THEM. Pastor Petersen took Matt fishing and they caught about 60 sunfish which they then filleted and we ate them for lunch! They were like little fish chips...I didn't know you could even eat sunfish!!!!! A true labour of love from both he and his wife.

Rooftop Poem from Iran

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKUZuv6_bus

God IS Great.

WHAT THE HECK IS GOIN DOWN?

Okay it's June 20th 2009, and I haven't left the house all day! What else is new....but what is drving me around the bend is all the crap going on in Iran. There's a whole part of me that wants to turn it off, because I keep yelling at the tv and computer screens, yelling at the people to "run back to your homes...they're shooting at you" I listen to the night time chanted prayers from the rooftops in Iran....God Is Great...I watch a utube film where a woman watches from her balcony at nigh...the voices crying out into the night air...pleading with God...Okay so then I turn off the news to watch a movie....what's on u ask?...."the band played on" a 1996 piece about the begininng of the AIDS epidemic, and how it was handled (I think that's a gross mis carriage of the word but all I could politely come up with. Another travesty...that made me MAD....so after 2.5 hours of that I switched cnn back on....and yes I looked at Neda's video...I shouldn't have...it will haunt me for a very long long time. I wonder how many other Neda stories will come out by the time this is over.