Thursday, June 29, 2017

Insurance/contractor nightmares ( I need some balls )

Last year I had the opportunity to access a program to help low income home owners address issues in their homes which may cause them to have to move out. Don't get me wrong they don't come in and "renovate" your home, it's very specific and only the major issues under a certain budget get addressed and over 10 years you have a loan and lien on your house.  I live in a small village of 1000 where most of the houses are older ( mine was built in 1880) and every spring the rows upon rows of sump pump hoses line the streets as homeowners deal with the inevitable. My home is no different, so when I accessed this program I spoke to the contractor I had chosen about making sure the new furnace I was getting was elevated, maybe suspended from the rafters, to keep it safe from water issues. At first he said it couldn't be done as my basement is not full height and I asked for it to be raised at least as high as my previous furnace.  I was on a waiting list from the fall 2016 into mid January 2017.  They lent us a heater to help with the cold while we waited. Once the job was completed the furnace had been placed on maybe 2 inch slabs! I said that I was concerned but the job was done. Then comes April downpours and my basement floods like everyone's did and my beautiful new furnace sinks under the cold icy water and my house fills up with propane! I've never heated with propane and it terrified me...I waded around in the basement and hooked up a fan to try to blow it out all the while expecting to be blown up! I realize this event was not typical weather but what is typical weather these days? So my concerns born out I contact the insurance company and begin the task of quotes.  I contacted my original contractor who then told me the furnace could probably by hung from the rafters but it wouldn't be covered by the insurance company because it would represent a change from the original set up and would increase the cost by $700.00! Sooooo I could have had it raised in the first place but I think my contractor ( who seems to be a nice enough guy) was more afraid of losing the bid than my concerns over possible flooding!!! We're still in the process of finalizing this endeavour and even though I'm a woman I'm intending to pursue it to the bitter end even though I will most likely lose out.  It sucks being a woman in these scenarios because if you're not a bitch in the first place you're a sucker in the end.  I have often said that one day I will buy myself a penis just to carry with me in case I need more balls...maybe that time is now!

Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Wren update!



This morning after my dogs woke me for their morning constitutional I sat down with my coffee and gazed out the window to check on my wren family but something was different.
Since April the business of birds had been to nest, lay, hatch and feed, all under the watchful eye of the parents, chattering orders to each other at every step of the way. Mom and Dad frequently tag teaming, feeding larvae and insects into the dark hole of the bird box, disappearing inside, then within seconds flying off with baby bird poop in their mouths (yuk!) to procure more tasty morsels for their unseen, but loud little babies.
As I looked closely at the "black hole" of the wren house this morning there was a little face, followed by another little face above it! Over the course of the next hour more faces appeared and a great deal of pushing and shoving ensued. Eventually one little face pushed himself to the front and bumbled around trying to get his body out of the small hole without tumbling to the ground. First the head, then a foot waved around looking for something to cling too...push, push...push...then POP...his whole body appeared on the outside of the box he'd called home for 2 months. He looked surprised! Gazing around nervously, #1 seemingly wondered "okay what's next?". He looked up, he peered down, and seemed undecided as to what to do. His decision was made for him when wren #2 pushed himself out of the box knocking his brother off the perch! Amazingly #1 flew off the box as if he'd been doing it everyday! He landed on the vines on my deck much to his parents dismay as they chirped wildly at him ( I wondered what they were saying...as parents we all know the terrifying moment when we have to let go of our children to learn from their own mistakes). Meanwhile, back at the box, #2 was already on the perch and hopped on top of the bird box to get a better vantage point! Within seconds, during which #3 was almost out of the hole, wren #2 flew off in the opposite direction from #1!!!
As the parents became more frantic the mass exodus continued, rapidly producing 5 infant wrens in total over a period of just a few minutes! When it's time to go, it seems they go quickly! ( unlike human children!)
So my little bird drama is over for the moment, and the nest in my honeysuckle bush?...it's empty
now too! The wrens will stake out another nesting area for their second round before the season ends, so I will continue to see and hear these chattering little birds until the end of the season when they will fly off to warmer climates (smart little birds!) and I will replace the old wren house with a newer, prettier version. They deserve a renovation for all the joy they bring me!

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

The wonders of Wrens



I am unabashedly, a bird lover. Wild birds, pet birds, injured birds, well birds, hungry birds, fat birds, I love them all.  I love to watch their quirks, their comings and goings, their flirting, their nesting, their parenting skills and the feeling of sadness when they head off to warmer climates and the world becomes many voices quieter.
Of all my garden birds my favourite is the little spunky, saucy tail up, common house wren! That may seem strange when there are so many more "flashy" birds to choose from, but when I hear my little wrens chattering in the spring I can only smile a big smile and think "they're back! Yeah!"
My house wrens have been nesting in my garden for 22 years, establishing their territory and growing in number throughout that time. I live right next to a forest and actually since I've been ill my "garden" has become a bit shall we say "wild". Although my neat flower gardens, vegetable garden, and pond are no longer, my berry bushes, trees, and lots of fragrant shrubs have made this corner of my world very attractive to birds ( and I feed them!which helps!).
As I have mentioned in other posts, I became ill back in 2003, and most of my energy now is focused on the most basics of life, and dealing with constant pain which is very tiring.  Whereas I used to be out in the garden everyday possible, now I spend more time in the house. I used to erect a screened gazebo every year and feed and watch the birds from there, I now have a window by the couch where I sit and watch as the world goes by, so I had a brilliant idea! I mounted a wren house on a pole right outside my window! Best idea I've had in a long time as this has brought me much joy as I have a front row seat to the busy nature and highly protective qualities of these tiny chattering birds.
In cleaning out their nest this spring I came across a wide variety of nesting materials which included pine needles, feathers, some branches and amazingly a few large screws and nails which certainly must be decrorative because they're shiny and I can't see how comfortable they would be!! But maybe
they were trying to fix this old house as it is in great need of renovating ( a replacement was in the plan but they came home earlier than expected).
I love witnessing the focus spent on choosing their nesting materials. They are very stubborn birds and fly in with branches 4 times too big to be moved through their nest box hole! They try and try over and over again, dropping the branches and flying down to retrieve them. Eventually they satisfied and begin the task of egg laying which obviously is Mom's job but after that Mom and Dad are equally invested in the parenting and guarding their babies. One wren flies in relieving the other to go in search of food and on it goes like a well oiled machine.  They chatter in their wren language
And alert each other when anything seems threatening, like our dogs bounding around rambunctiously, or me trying to get a great photograph ( not ) of them. When it's really hot they perch on the roof of the house (which has a split in it ) and flap their wings rapidly in an effort to cool the house down ( always make sure there's water nearby that they can drink and share with the little ones.
It may seem silly, but watching them has become a big part of my day and I worry when it's hot, cold, or wet!
When they finally leave for the season I hope they are safe and miss they're presence in my garden.
But I know they will be back, or they're little ones will be back to nest somewhere else in the area next year.

A bird in the hand is worth 9 in the bushes?

As I mentioned before my poor garden has gone wild since my illness starting back in 2003. My lilac bushes are now at least 10 ft. high along with my honeysuckle bushes. I had decided that this was the year to trim them back, especially one of my honeysuckles, which has grown so high that it covers my window! I wanted to wait until they had flowered so the bees and I could enjoy their beautiful scent and flowers. There's nothing quite like it. But now I have a problem! Another wonderful delay! I peeked out my window and in the middle of all those branches sits a little nest overflowing with hungry chicks, mouths open leaning perilously close to the edge and risking falling out in an effort to be the first one to eat!
I've been trying to get a photograph of them but once Mom noticed me at the window she flew away with a juicy worm hanging from her beak and hasn't returned yet so I certainly don't want to interfere with dinner!
So it looks as if my yard will have to undergo some inspection into each bush to choose which ones are uninhabited and which have little tenants! As much as those shrubs need trimming I hope I find some more tenants too!
Wren update: my wren's eggs hatched a few weeks ago which means a flurry of activity is going on outside another window! Like a relay race the parents fly in with food and wait for the exit of the other who has fed the chicks and leaves with clean up duty while the other sits with an insect in his mouth. Efficiency to the max!
So while I continue in my life of isolation I have my dogs and nature's gifts to lift my spirits. Okay it's not the same as real human relationships but they have few expectations and don't care if I'm too ill to meet a prior plan. No ones disappointed and my pups just curl up with me until I'm well enough to take them on an new adventure!

Sunday, June 25, 2017

Pre War Syria - http://www.the-dialogue.com A week in Pre War Syria

Pre War Syria

I have had some disturbing conversations on Twitter which lead me to believe that the ignorance of pre war Syria is so great that some people forget that Syria was not always a pile of rubble filled with starving, injured, dirty and bloodied people clamouring for just a piece of the world's attention between the never ending discussion of which Trump tweet is most telling of the imbecile behind it.
Believe it or not I've had tweet conversations where the other twit, I don't mean tweeter, is crying foul on the aftermath of sarin gas attacks on innocent Syrians claiming that they are all acting!? It is completely fake says one..."Fake news" cries another, all in some devious plan to garner access to America so they can blow them all up!
When the international news carried the story focused on the little Syrian girl who pleaded with the world,via cell phone, for help, one women attacked me with the notion " how would this child get a cell phone account"! "The same way your child did!" I replied.
The idea that Syria is some land so far behind the Western world that cell phones have never been available to them, or that that they have always lived amongst rubble and chaos, seems to be a generalized thought with no consideration that Syria was once a city with apartment buildings, stores, roads, communities similar to our own. Certainly living under a Dictatorship has its consequences, and Bashir Al Assad has spent most of the countries money on his own desires and those of his wife, leaving his people to live without many of the things we Westerners don't even think about, like clean streets. It costs money to clean streets, money Assad would rather spend elsewhere so dirty streets were the norm! We would all have dirty streets if our government didn't act on the needs of its people and PAY workers to clean them! The women on the other end of my "Twitter war" would not be lining up to volunteer her time to clean them I guarantee you!
If you are the least bit curious as to what Pre War Syria was like I forward you to a great essay, not a
sound bite, dealing with this issue which will help to dispel some of the misinformation flooding our
twitter feeds and news broadcasts. You can read it at http://www.the-dialogue.com A week in Pre War
Syria.

Moon Over Matter

Many people scoff at the idea that a full moon affects the behaviour of people, but those of us lucky enough to work in a hospital know that a full moon will mean a busy night for all concerned.
Working as a nurse I watched firsthand the change in number of incidents compared to waxing or waning moons and the full moon phenomenon. Especially in emergency medicine where the increase in admissions and odd behaviours of some patients increased 10 fold with the fullness of the moon!
One particular night after doing rounds on a surgical ward in the dark with our flashlights, we received a phone call from security saying a patient had reported a fire in her room. We immediately sped into action, fire extinguisher in hand, running down to the room where the fire reportedly was. We entered the room quickly checking the patient, who was asleep, and every corner of the room, but no fire. We returned to a quick round then back to the nurses station to continue our paperwork.  Within 10 minutes we received another phone call from security issuing the same information from the same room!  We asked them to check their switchboard while dashing again to the room as described. Again no fire...patient asleep...we moved the phone away from the bed, checked it, checked everything and all was okay. Not to repeat myself, but I must as we received a 3rd call and now we were really spooked.
There's nothing like wandering around a hospital ward in the dark with just flashlights checking bodies for movement or absence of ! Patients find it frustrating, nurses find it spooky because no one looks "well" under the glow of a flashlight! As we rounded the opposite side of the ward there was a sign! A poopie line exiting the exact opposite room from the room the calls were supposedly coming from. The bed rails were up ..bed empty...following a streaky trail we found our patient scooting around the corner on her bottom!  She told us there was a fire in her room and she was escaping! Somehow the phone system had switched the line over in a mirror image of the ward!? It took quite some time to convince our athletic patient that there was no fire and exhausted after we cleaned her up, she finally agreed to return to bed and stay there. We unhooked her phone and checked her every
15 min till she slept.  I don't know how the lines got switched but it was one of the spookiest night shifts I ever worked! Blame it on the moon!!!
The magic of the Moon

Sunday, June 18, 2017

Happy Father's Day to my eldest sons




My eldest sons are celebrating Fathers Day today too. They have grown up to be GREAT DADS, showering my 5 grandchildren with love and affection. 
Though they are frequently tired juggling work and parenthood, struggling through looking after sick little ones only to get sick themselves ( don't we all remember those days) they soldier on focusing on the good things rather than the struggles. It's fun to watch them balance their lives and see their hearts swell with love and pride for there little ones ( Grace isn't so little anymore!) .
Here's to Fatherhood! The most important and challenging job they will ever have.
Happy Father's Day boys! ❤️


Fathers Day

Happy Fathers Day to all Dads! My Father is 92 this year, and although he can't recall much of the present time, he still has his long term memory and likes to regale stories in the past. I live some 5 hours away so I don't see him very much, but try to call him weekly. I'm not usually successful because he sleeps a lot now and it's a challenge to reach him. He's in a Nursing Home,  but my sister is always around to take him out and look after his every need. Thank God for her!
My Dad has always been the most intelligent man I know. When we would watch Jeopardy he knew all the answers before the contestants did...he could have made a fortune.

In school he graduated a year early and as a result had to wait to start medical school because he was too young! He practiced medicine for almost 60 years!

I was the boy he didn't get, but he made up for it by believing he could make me into a professional tennis star!!! From the age of 10 to 18 we practised regularly and most winters started every Sunday at 7 am in a freezing tennis club...the first ones there got to put on the heaters! Although as the years passed it was obvious I was no Yvonne Goolagong ( my fav) Dad pressed on! I was hopelessly afraid of competition although I played quite well in the end, I always froze when the pressure was on. Poor Dad, a dream lost!
He also turned my oldest boys into pretty good golfers and spent many hours on the golf course with them from an early age. Although they were technically too young to be on the course he would put them in the golf cart as caddies then once on the course have them play!
Dad did a lot of Fathering for me, my sister, and my sons. I will always be greatful to him for the love and support he has shown us all. Happy Father's Day Dad!

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Garden Goes Wild!

The other day I was cleaning out my barrel deck pond and came a cross a nest at the bottom of the barrel. I wasn't surprised since last year we found a mouse nest in there. I gently disturbed the material and all of a sudden instead of a mouse the whole ball of fuzz started to undulate and then little bumble bees began to crawl out and fly around, buzzing angrily! They were so cute and small but perfect little bees. I knew if they stung me neither of us would be happy. I'd be stung and they'd be dead, so I left it alone for several hours so they could move on.

My yard used to be a garden that I had built up from nothing, including multiple flowerbeds, a huge vegetable garden and lilac bushes and honeysuckle around the perimeter to cover the metal fence I had installed. I had a beautiful pond, with a fire pit off to the side.  I spent hours and hours each day from spring to fall adding more and more perennials, looking after my fish and wondering at the giant bullfrogs, who incedentally ate some of my fish! The goldfish were breeding which was wonderful to see these tiny brown fish grow into golden shiny gems hiding underneath the huge waterlilies which bloomed in yellow then turned pink! I had little white lights in the bushes and torches to light the pathways to the pond and fire pit.

Once a saweet owl (tiny) landed in front of me with a mouse in its talons and I sat quietly in the dark and watched as he had his dinner within feet of me. Amazing!

Since I've been ill, the "garden" is no longer and is now a wild yard, which is sad, but also I've noticed that the wilder it becomes the more we are visited by nature. Hence the bee nests, of which I'm sure there are many more than the one I found. If you read my apple tree post you'll hear why I think that.
Bees are facinating little insects, and so cute and round. Apparently they burrow underground using old rodent holes to overwinter although some die off. So my greatest thing I miss is my pond but the increase in birds and  butterflies chipmunks helps to ease the pain!


Tuesday, June 13, 2017

My Life: Secrets and lies

I was 4 When I started school, and I think my sister was already going to the convent by then as she's a little older than me. I mention this only to get a perspective on time because it's difficult to know how old I was exactly when the "trouble" began in earnest. I know I was small because his hands were so big. That sounds like such an obvious thing to say about being a child compared to being a man but it's a funny thing about memory, what leaves its mark in your brain and what fades as quickly as it happened! Our memories of events and time are all jumbled up and even when 2 people have experienced something together, like growing up together, we all have different perceptions of what that time was like. We come to it through our own individual lens.
In the beginning my relationship between my grandfather and myself seemed normal and affectionate
as far as I know. My sister didn't like to be cuddled or tickled so I got all that attention and at first it all seemed good but at some point in time, I'm not exactly sure how old I was, things became a bit more nefarious.  The tickling progressed in intensity and the areas he tickled changed from simple waist and stomach, to my chest area, squeezing my bottom and running his hands up and down my thighs to the crotch of my panties. I remember being very confused because I loved my grandfather very much, but every time these events occurred, and the more often they occurred, I began feeling sick to my stomach, but I wasn't sure why. One of my clearest memories is of being out on my
grandparents terrace that overlooked a small lawn and then a garden with gooseberry bushes in it. I had been running around and my mother and grandmother were both in the house. As I ran past my grandfather he reached out and caught me, pulling me into his side as he sat in a deckchair. At first he was tickling me with his big hands and I was giggling. He had me by the waist and put his right hand on my thigh, running it up and down my leg several times but then he went higher and quickly he pushed his finger into me. I screamed loudly, and cried out and he quickly released me. I was inconsolable and when my mother and grandmother ran out to see what had happened my grandfather began to explain that I had been bitten by a ladybug? I was holding myself and I wept while he stared
at me and tried to pull me in to appear to be comforting me. I knew by the look on his face that I was in trouble. My mother tried to console me but she felt I was making a lot of fuss over a little bite and she began to be angry with me too. Looking back this was a pivotal point for me. I never said a word. I just cried and my grandmother took me inside to wipe my face and look for the bite mark which of course there was none which furthered the frustration over my apparent hysteria over nothing! A natural response really. Looking back something changed in me that day.
I felt suddenly alone for the first time.
I was trapped in a web of secrets and lies that I didn't really understand.

Friday, June 9, 2017

London Bridge terror attack

This past Friday night I was perusing my collection of tiny house videos when I decided to check in to CNN for my regular world chaos update. The bold "BREAKING NEWS" banner flashed across the screen, which no longer spikes my heart rate as "Breaking news" can be news that broke several days prior, however this was different and it soon became apparent that I was watching history in the making as video images of the London Police vans, and pictures of individuals on the ground, people running, some partially clad, through the streets, directed by armed police ( unusual for Britain) . The news commentator announced that the carnage I was witnessing had killed 8 people, injured many more and resulted in the shooting of 3 terrorists all in the space of 8 minutes.  Further news reported that people had been stabbed in the nearby market and at least one victim was being cared for by a group of people hiding in place in a restaurant.  Another witness spoke of seeing a woman jump off the bridge and I still don't know what happened to her.
My heart fell for the people of Britain. How much more can my mother country take.  Westminster, Manchester and London all attacked within a short period of time seems surreal.
What is happening to this world? So much hate is hard to fathom. Viewing images of victims in various stages of injury from minor to absolutely obscene.  How can human beings perpetrate such evil on innocents. The lower chart is taken from Wikipedia reviewing the incidents that England has suffered. My heart goes out to all the victims and their families, and I hope that those who are still lost are found quickly for their families sake.
The United Kingdom has suffered greatly in the past few years and most recently 3 attacks in 3 months.
April 1999 David Copeland bombing- 3 dead-139 injured
July 7-2005-London Underground and Double Decker bus bombings - 50 killed-100s injured
May 22-2013-stabbing of Lee Rigby
Dec 5-2015-Muhaydin Mive-stabbed 2-both survived
June 16-2016- Jo Cox-British Member of Parliament (neo nazi group)
Mar 22-2017-Westminster-3 killed 29 injured-driver struck pedestrians-policeman stabbed
May 23-2017-Manchester-22dead 59 injured bombing of Ariana Grande concert
June 3-2017-London Bridge-Borough Market-Van attacked pedestrians on bridge-stabbings at Borough Market

Thursday, June 8, 2017

My Life: Primrose Cottage

As a little girl some of my fondest memories are of our summer holidays, some of which were spent at "Primrose Cottage" in Battle. Pictured above are my sister and me (bunny skirt), in the back garden of the cottage. Just behind the cottage was a farmers field full of jersey cows. They were beautiful, with their huge brown eyes and big wet noses! It was both frightening, and exciting, to offer them handfuls of grass...the same grass that grew on their side of the fence, but they ate it out of our hands all the same so I imagined our grass 
was special!

The cottage was full of charm, created by my mother's ability to beautifully decorate a cave if she had to, with beautiful handmade curtains and cushions, wall art, and furnishings arranged in the most creative and comfortable ways possible. In the front of the cottage was a lovely paned glass window in which my sister and I sometimes played real estate agents, wearing plastic finger tips with red nails on them. We had drawn pictures of houses for sale and fixed them into the panes of the glass! We spent hours pretending to be real estate agents greeting imaginary customers to whom we would talk about the advantages of the different drawn homes we selected from our window!

We also spent many holidays in Devon, playing on the beaches, building sand castles and splashing around in cold water! It never mattered how cold the water was or how stony the beach, playing in the ocean was a must. I remember dashing out of the ocean shivering, with blue lips and body, into my mother's arms to be wrapped up in a huge warm towel and rubbed and hugged warm! Then came the blanket, and tea from a thermos!
The smell of the ocean, and salt on my lips, the shells on the beach, all filled me with excitement, I couldn't get enough of it. Once dry, it was time to explore, in warmer clothes, the tide pools which offered a plethora of sea life. Little crabs and periwinkles were most prevalent and while I was interested enough to catch crabs, I would then squeal as they scrambled about in my hands in an effort to escape! Periwinkles were far more agreeable and just peeked out of their shells and just as quickly ducked back in! I especially loved collecting shells, pretty stones and beach glass. Treasures which could be gathered and kept in a little box to handle over and over again long after the holiday was over.
Another favourite pastime was the boating ponds. I had a little blue and white sail boat which I would launch into what seemed like a huge body of water and watch carefully as it passed other boats and 
went on its own way with the wind.  Eventually she would wind up close enough to an edge of the 
pond to be retrieved safely, much to my relief!
These holidays are memories that I will treasure always, and since the majority of the time it was our immediate family only, I was free from any uncomfortable situations with my grandfather which made me feel freer and safer.

Thursday, June 1, 2017

To all Sarin Gas DENIERS...

...if you doubt, for whatever reason that I can't fathom, that Syrian innocents are "acting" rather than actually dying from sarin gas attacks, I have a plan for you! I suggest that you all gather together at LAX and we'll gladly fly you over to the Middle East and transport you to some remote village in war torn Syria. Hopefully for one of you, you'll fly United and you'll get kicked off the plane before you leave...you'll be the lucky one! In Syria, you can sit and wait for the sound of bombers overhead and one of you can video the result of an actual gas attack.  Of course as you twist and foam at the mouth, gasping for breath there will be those back home who will say that you're a "really good actor" and will be soooo surprised when you're shipped back in a body bag.  Better yet...if you're THAT CONVINCED then take your children too! The more the merrier right?
I don't understand you! Why are you so cruel and pig headed when there is full evidence to the contrary of what you believe?  If that were happening to you and the rest of the world did NOTHING but make up conspiracy theories about your plight, how would you feel? Would you want to flee? But wait...there's nowhere to go because you're terrorists tricking the government into letting you across the boarders so you can attack the USA! Of course...that's what it's all about.
Silly rest of the world who have decency in them and have empathy for our fellow human beings...but we need more than empathy. We need ACTION.
Stop being so ridiculous and try to be human instead.

Gasping for life CNN mini documentary

Fibromyalgia

When dealing with the symptoms of Fibromyalgia, one of the things recommended is to avoid stress! That's pretty hard to do! Although Fibromyalgia is not a fatal disease the main causes of death amongst it's sufferers is suicide and heart attack.  I have had 2 heart attacks since 2007 and been suicidal countless times.  To avoid stress when you're trying to live on a small fixed income, trying to look after all your typical activities of daily living which cause you unbelievable pain in places you never imagined you had muscles ( armpits! ). Add migraines, brain fog, kinda like mini dementia and extreme fatigue where there are periods of time when you can barely get out of bed to let the dogs in and out.  It's a daily struggle. Movement does help to relieve some pain, but adl's can put me into uncontrollable pain episodes from vacuuming, washing a floor, taking out the garbage! Ridiculous right? I used to be able to work full time, be a single Mom, volunteer at several different organizations, be a part of a worship team playing guitar and singing, walk my dogs daily, keep my house and garden well kept, heat with wood and all that entails, plus pursue various hobbies.
Now I only leave the house if I have to and eat a lot of cereal!