The Funeral

It's seems like a long time ago, and then again, it seems like last week, that we held the wake and funeral mass for my Mother, this past July 13Th. I think that funerals today should stand by a new and improved ritual that recognizes the need to come to terms with what has happened, rather than to be caught in the stress and rush of losing a loved one and at the same time organizing their last most important act on earth all in a matter of a couple of days. It's not as if we are bound by Muslim or Jewish traditions? (I don't think anyway!) and it's not as if we don't have the ability to hold on to our loved one for a few days more??? I don't get it.

Anyway, I would have liked to have put together a video memorial to Mom, showing all the wonderful pictures of her through the years (Dad took allot of pictures of her....I wonder why!!!) but between finding out that Mom had passed and absorbing that information, then packing; then traveling; then shopping (no formal fat clothes on hand) it all swirled around us and I was waiting for the little people to appear.. The wonderful staff at the Funeral Home kept asking us if we would like to do "this or that" and we frequently said no simply because we didn't really know what they were asking of us, so finally after saying "no" to placing the "Pall" over Mom's casket, I decided to ask what a pall was and it was to simply place the cloth over Mom's casket symbolizing her faith (which she had) and then I said "I'd like to do that" and Angela did too...so we did it together, and it was a very moving moment for me. We both "tucked her in" and I kissed her casket, just as I had kissed her at the wake, and they laid a crucifix at her head. It was a grey and sombre day, appropriate to the occasion. I walked with Dad, not out of any protocol ' just as it happened... My sister, Angela, walked with my middle son, Andrew, and held his hand, (That being the 1st miracle to occur during the Mass!!) ...as he sobbed throughout the service. Way in the back were Paul, Jacquie and Matt. Don't know how they ended up there...like I said we hadn't really talked about that. The Priest knew my Mother well, and I think he could have been more personal than he was but that's all I'll say about him...The choir sang, and we choked out the words as well as we could between sobs and just as the service was coming to a close, Father Frank lit the incense jar and began to swing gently over the her casket...all at once the clouds broke and streams of sunlight flowed down over Mother, catching the incense in a swirling, glowing shaft of spectacular light ....and everyone gasped!!! I knew she could do it...she'd saved the best for last!! That was my Mother!!