It's been awhile since I wrote.  Things have been difficult, and hard to organize my thoughts in any comprehensive way.  The past 10 days have been particularly horrible, dragging my concrete body around, between couches and bed.  It just so happened that the position I was laying in pressed my chest hard on the pillow and I could feel my heartbeat...feel my heartbeat?..."well that seems awfully slow"..I said to myself with noone listening.  So I took my pulse, and it was a raging.....50! I walked around...55! Now I'm exhausted again and ready for aa four hour nap as I realize that the heart medication I've been taking for 4 years is working overtime at keeping my heart rate from racing...but not so much as to render me dead!  So...I stopped taking it (bisoprolol), and after reading about all it's other side effects, I don't think I'll be taking it again.  Wouldn't it be funny if I just stopped taking all my medications and was sudenly well again!! Hmm?