Can U C Me?

This blog has grown out of a desire to do something...anything... consistently and I almost have, for one year, with a bit of a gap between the Iranian Protests and the Haitian Earthquake! I am 51, I have fibromyalgia which simply spells P A I N plus headaches, year long flu symptoms and exhaustion , also heart disease, thyroid problems and a sprinkling of depressive disorder! My youngest son is 13, has ADHD and more energy than any "energizer bunny" I've ever seen, pink or not! I don't go out much anymore...unless it's dark, I'm wearing a hat...and a big coat to cover the fact that I'm really in PJ's having only left my slippers behind! (actually sometimes I do wear my slippers...I live in a small village...Stacey London would go MAD!)

Anyway, I'm reaching out, by reaching in as it were! I write about my life (!) current family and anything that occurs to me. Hope you'll stay awhile and even if you only stay a minute Please ... Please leave a comment! I get so excited when I get a comment it just makes my day! Thanks .

Tuesday, July 5, 2016

Alive could be an overstatement!

as my initial mission for this blog was to try to be consistent in something you can see that has been a dismal failure! My apologies.
As I sit here pondering my existence and my future I must concede finally that I am not equipped to carry on. I lack both the physical and mental abilities to manage my life, and spiritually I have lost that full knowledge of Gods promises to me and the strength that gave me even when faced with death.
Anyone with a chronic illness knows that is not just the patient that suffers but all of those around them and as time goes by it becomes taxing on them to the point of exhaustion and not surprisingly desensitizing to the serious nature of the problems.  Even I have still to learn when I,m in deep trouble. It's hard to ask for help in a world where everything moves so quickly, lives so full of family and friends, all the special moments go by in a flash and they're gone and I've missed them.
I've made so many mistakes in my life and lived the consequences by blundering through and not dealing with the real issues.
So in closing I just want to urge anyone whose struggling to reach out and find one advocate who will stand by you and help you to stay afloat when your drowning in this muddled up mess of mental illness or any illness.
Sometimes you have to give up in order to get up. Not an easy thing to do

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Wow! I'm not DEAD,

It has been far too long since I posted to my blog for many reasons but mostly because I've been really ill including another heart attack; major depressive episodes with suicidal ideation; financial problems blah blah BLAH!!!! Lots of problems with medications and their side effects.
Basically struggling like so many other chronically ill people and retreating into the fetal position to make it through each day. Not much fun but I'm still're still here (that is if you're reading this : ) ) so life continues. I've got a lot of updating to do on this site as it seems there's a lot that's not working right now, but for now just a "Hey out there" and hopefully I can relearn how to work this blog!

Saturday, May 25, 2013

How 2 b consistently inconsistent!

Oh's been a year since I've written and so much has happened.  For starters....I'M HEALED !!!!>>>> Well no I'm not healed unfortunately, but I'm also not dead so that's good.  I've decided that it"s best to have NO expectations rather than setting the bar too high.  That way by default my day has been successful if I manage to get out of bed, or if I answer the phone and speak to another human being!  Not that my son and his friends aren't human, but my standards for vocabulary,clothing, food choices, and terms of endearment have suffered abit in the past 10 years. But it's Spring/Summer again and my butterflies will be back because my lilacs are blooming and I'll try to make this gorgeous sunshine fill me up and raise me up.  I have promised my sister that I will try to eat better and get somone in to do the things I cannot so without crashing.
I have also become obsessed with the Jodi Arias trial and I am floored by the recent mistrial and I wonder what was going on in that jury room who had signed up to declare the death penalty but then they didn't??!!
I foolishly looked at the crime scene photos of that poor young man and there's NO POSSIBLE WAY that she had mitigating factors to avoid death. NONE!!!! In her appeal for life she sounded as if she was applying to be on student council suggesting that Travis Alexander being stabbed 29 times, had his throat slit from ear to ear, dragged into the bathroom and pushed in the shower, and shot him in the head and left him there to rot while sending him phone messages.? But there's something going on with the jury foreman that I think will be examined and found to be lacking...perhaps criminal.