The Sexuality Puzzle

I don't remember there ever being so much talk about sexual orientation amongst teens than in the past 10 years.  I'm all for supporting kids through this process, as adults who may understand all the family dynamics involved, and whether parents are supportive or not, but I worry that these days there is a trend to claim other than straight sexuality for the shock factor.  The resulting backlash can be dangerous when young people are so vulnerable.  A person's sexuality is a personal thing, and I don't understand the apparent need to be flagrant about it...providing pictorial essays to prove the fact.  When the motivation is to shock...the result is shock...and the result of that result..is to be offended that they're shocked!?...It just becomes more and more mixed up. The following youth website has more insight than I do...but they also suggest caution in making any sexual declaration in your early years.
http://sexualityandu.ca/teens/orientation-1.aspx
When I was a kid, I had a crush on my camp counsellor Sydney!!! I thought she was the coolest thing.  That was a natural part of being an adolescent...now I would be made to feel that I was gay.

..."Your sexual orientation is a reflection of your sexual and emotional feelings toward people of the same or opposite gender. Although some people know early on that they are homosexual, others go through a confusing period where they wonder: Am I different? Could I be gay? Are my feelings just a passing phase?


The answer is there is no single answer. Your sexual orientation will emerge over time, probably little by little. You shouldn't label yourself as gay just because you've had homosexual feelings or even homosexual encounters. These experiences are very common among people your age. "

I have a personal experience here, that affects my judgement.  I met a man who, after a while, revealed to me me, that he had been severely molested by 2 men for many years, and this had confused his sense of himself, and his sexuality, or so he said.  It was a difficult time for us both, but I felt it must be more difficult for him, as he was going through the process of dealing with such horrendous events.  The confusion about sexual orientation had not been immediately revealed to me, and by the time the abuse was revealed, we were already in a pretty intense relationship.  I asked the questions..."are you gay"..."don't you think you should deal with this"..."it doesn't just go away?"...He always answered the way he knew I wanted him to answer..the way that would keep us together instead of apart.  Years later I understand how vulnerable he was then, and I also understand that if I had been wiser, and had better self esteem, I would have ended the relationship right then and there...but I didn't.  I loved him, and I couldn't imagine kicking someone out of my life at a time when they needed so much support.  But the result was a whole lot of misery and pain later.  A lot of unkind words were spoken over the years.
I am not homophobic!  I do not like or dislike someone because of their sexuality!  However,
i also wouldn't date anyone who was confused about their sexuality, and I think it is wrong for individuals who are unsure, to get involved in a romantic relationship with anyone.  It just isn't fair.  If that somehow makes me "homophobic" then I would debate ur definition of the term. And that's all I'm gonna say about that!