Growing up...and growing old!

As I mentioned the other day, Matthew has just turned 13 years old, and it hardly seems possible in some ways, and yet, he's such an "old soul", that it also feels as if he's been around forever!  My eldest son, Paul, turned 30 this past December, another shocking occurrence, and in his Birthday card to Matt he says...and I quote...

" Happy Birthday Matt, officially a teenager! Teen years are hard on Mom's. Take it easy on 'er!"

I suddenly realized, as if it hadn't occured to me before, that I'm about to embark on this transformation process for a third time!  I don't have a clue what to expect, because every one of my "teens" have been different.  As different as they are, and will be, as adults.  I also have a fourth young man out there somewhere, that I hope and pray, had a trouble free teen period, if that's possible.
As all these young men grow up, inevitably, I grow old.  That's okay!  I wouldn't change a minute.  In families, things don't always go smoothly, and each of us carries our own luggage through the journey...some heavy...some light.  The trick is not to dump your luggage on somebody else's seat, and make their ride uncomfortable. The benefit of growing old is that, if you allow it, your luggage can be sorted out, dumping the useless or harmful, and keeping the good and fruitful...and that leaves me with both regrets, and hope.
My regrets are for my oldest boys, now men, and the struggles they endured while I dragged my luggage around as a young mother.  It wasn't all bad, but I wasn't the mother to them that I dreamed of being, and I'm so sorry for that.  For Matt, being like an "only child", and living with a sick mother isn't the greatest, but I'm so greatful that my luggage  has been pretty much sorted, giving me the peace and patience that I lacked when I was younger, when I used alcohol to achieve the peace that I feel now without it.

My hope is in Christ, and that with Him, I can love them all through whatever comes along.  I am so blessed to have had them all, and very proud of what God has created through me. What an awesome priviledge it is!